what dreams are made of...

I walked my way to the supermarket yesterday afternoon with my favorite buddy, Purple. I asked him to accompany me because I would buy rice and detergent powder which I might hardly carry by myself. He suggested that we walk because it was almost the first day of Spring here in Xi'an. The air was fresh and wet, and the environment was like the Philippines' early July.

I started to miss home. I missed staring out the window and watching the dark clouds and wet road. I missed guessing if it would rain more or not. I missed watching TV at home because I chose not to go to work so I could spend some time with my kids. I just wanted the feeling of them being around...

Purple noticed I was so silent while reminiscing. There's no point sharing, he wouldn't understand. So he opened up about how he felt about his work, his plans to move back to Sichuan and find a job in Chengdu. He doubted that he would not be able to fulfill his dream here in Xi'an. When I asked him how he would see his life 10 years from now, he said: "I want to be a big boss!"

I explained to him the positive and negative side of being a "boss". But it didn't move him at all. He said when someone gets out of the small village where he was born, he never returns. He thought his village was so poor, it could not offer him any future. He said he wanted to be successful and he would never find that success in his little hometown.

Then he started to ask me about my dreams...

I searched my heart while staring at the skies, and later realized I did not know what I really wanted in my life. I had short-term goals, but I had no idea what I would become a few years from now. Life had not been very simple for me in the past few years, and it's very difficult to foresee anything about how things would go for me and my family. I just wanted to work and enjoy whatever opportunity that would come my way. I wanted to be busy and forget the hatred that I long kept in my heart.

I hope I will be able to write about my dream sooner than later.... Thanks for sharing, Purple...